Diatribe

Driving while octopus

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour 


The other day I was passing a vehicle on the freeway and I happened to look at the driver as I went by. At first I thought I was looking at another poor soul who had been beaten severely with an ugly stick. This woman looked a cross between the Sea Hag and Alice the Goon.

Sometimes a mind is a terrible thing to use

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   

A consequence of our business is the number of hours I spend behind the wheel. It affords me the opportunity to observe the traits of my fellow drivers and to critique the vehicles I and those around me drive. Two findings readily come to mind: the tremendous amount of vehicles that were obviously manufactured without turn signals; and how many vehicles do not contain sunglass holders.

Hurry up and pass me so you can slow down

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour  


As clever as I think I am I’m occasionally humbled by one of my readers. A particularly good subject was sent to me earlier this week by a member of the “Fighting Illini” (no, not a member of a University of Illinois sports team; rather, a citizen of Illinois who hates paying tolls as much as I did when I lived there). 

Respecting hallowed ground

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Driver’s Side Diatribe
By Al Vinikour   


Nothing brings me down faster than seeing a wreath or some other kind of memorial alongside the road that generally indicates somebody was killed at that spot.

Occasionally I wonder how that was possible because the vehicle would have had to have been about as agile as an articulated bus to have wound up in that position from the road itself. But regardless of the positioning, the bottom line is…life ended there for somebody at one time.

Destination and delivery charges — the great automotive swindle

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour  


There are many ways to disguise legalized theft, running the gamut from “restocking fee” to “plus shipping and handling.” The most blatant one, however, is a charge that car buyers seem to take in stride – “Destination & Delivery Charges.”

Pretty in 'Ornamental Laced Tinted Rose' (pink)

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour     

I’m always hearing how “simple” life was in the “good old days.” I wonder if it really was or it just seems that way because most people are not big on change. Take car colors. When we were young, virile and carefree there were choices…and the descriptions made sense. There was always a red, black, white, blue and green.

I’m sorry, sir…your car has stage IV rust

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   

One of the joys of a lifetime is taking home a brand new car (or even a used one which is new to you). You take the family for a spin, wash it repeatedly and often for the first few weeks…and then like an old mule you put it to use toiling through the seasons.

Dots on my windshield, love in my heart

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour      al@motorwayamerica.com

Just like any other kid I was always touching things — if for no other reason than to feel its texture. I still do that (but I refrain from touching things that will get my face slapped). Thus it should not surprise me that it was a revelation when I first noticed those little black dots that are prevalent on most windshields of modern vehicles.

Safety technology should be 'BLIS-full' and standard

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour     
al@motorwayamerica.com

Through the decades new auto technologies were initially extra-cost options — and then not always available on anything other than the top (and most expensive) trim levels. Case in point — seat belts. 

Move up, knobby…it could save your life

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Driver’s Side Diatribe
By Al Vinikour  

I’m always delighted to hear from readers who let me know that I’m not the only one whose life is so filled with hatred it can’t be dealt with during a 24-hour day. I received one the other day from someone who commented that one of his biggest pet peeves is people who leave huge gaps between their vehicle and the one in front of them.