Diatribe

The annual year of the optimist

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 DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour            al@motorwayamerica.com
 
Talk about a kumbaya moment. That word “optimism” epitomizes the start of each year in the auto industry. It’s January and the domestic auto show season continues with the North American International Auto Show in Detroit, then to Chicago in February, heading East at Easter-time to New York and then a long break until the Los Angeles show in November when it starts all over again.

If there’s one thing the shows have in common it’s this: a smile is an auto executive’s umbrella. There is more optimism spewed at a major auto show than water running over Niagara Falls.

Ach Du Lieber!!! Danke, Herr Benz

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour  
al@motorwayamerica.com

I don’t know how long I’ve been an automotive journalist but I know it’s been awhile. Probably the first three or four decades are lost because of John Barleycorn (that rotten…!) but however long it has been I’ve been bellyaching about the positioning of the cruise control stalk on Mercedes-Benz vehicles.

It’s been situated above the turn signal arm so unless you really concentrated hard you’d inadvertently engage cruise control when you had meant to put on your right turn signal. This, in turn, created a sudden acceleration that could be catastrophic.

Turquoise can be macho too!

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour      al@motorwayamerica.com

One of my favorite automotive executives is a really neat guy who just might be the next CEO of his global company. To protect his anonymity I’ll just refer to him as “Mark” and to give equal secrecy to his company we’ll just say that it’s headquartered in a big glass house Dearborn, Michigan. That’s all the clues you’re getting. I’m not going to make things easy for you.

What kind of gear jamming Knight of the Road would drive a 14-wheeler?

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour  
al@motorwayamerica.com

As stated many times during my term of community service writing these columns I have always been fascinated by over-the-road trucks. I live in a part of the Midwest (Detroit-area) that is chockablock (what the hell kind of word is that, anyway?) with trucks — both those going to and from Canada and those dropping off components and filling up with machines to be delivered all over this land.

Vinyl roofs — bad toupées for cars

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By Al Vinikour   al@motorwayamerica.com

Three of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen are the creepy guy in the Burger King commercials, my ex-wife and the ugliest of them all, modern-day vinyl car roofs. I once was liquored up on Yoohoo and wrote a column of what I’d like to see happen to things that irked me. I said that people who have cars with vinyl roofs should lose their driving privileges…and people who sell and install them should do hard time at a maximum security facility.

By definition, 'dual' means 'two!'

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By Al Vinikour   al@motorwayamerica.com

One of the most hallowed of traditions in sporty vehicles is dual exhaust. From the very first V8 there were conversions to duals because when coupled to a pair of glass- packed or steel-packed mufflers it emitted a rumbling sound that translated to “bad.” Dual exhaust started to become a factory fixture on V8s in the mid-‘50s. Few things were as cool-looking as a chrome tailpipe extension on either end of the rear bumper. Life was good!

The real casualty of Pontiac's demise

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By Al Vinikour  al@motorwayamerica.com

As rumored for some time, General Motors recently announced it would cease production of its fabled Pontiac Motor Division and the brand would be terminated. With this edict a large element of automotive history will be just that…history. Pontiac has long been known as the “Performance Division,” and had the products to prove it.