Diatribe

Black horses look great — black wheels do not

Tags:

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour    al@motorwayamerica.com

I’ve written before about the transition vehicles have made from the “bygone years” when if you had a vehicle with blackwall tires you were at best considered a bum and made fun of behind your back…and if that didn’t work…directly to your face. Even the poor man’s whitewalls, “porta walls,” were judged a step better than having no white stripe at all.

Optimism: A great travel destination

Tags:
DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour           al@motorwayamerica.com
 
As an auto writer with a substantial readership I’m invited to a lot of programs that highlight future products. Some involve technology and some involve design. But the common thread of all these is the excitement generated by the manufacturers over their new “things.”
 
It doesn’t matter if the industry just came off its worst sales year since the Civil War; because of the new fuel-efficient engine they’ve developed the “future is theirs.” There’s not a darn thing wrong with this thinking, either.

All keyless entries are not created equal

Tags:

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour    al@motorwayamerica.com

Throughout the decades door locks have evolved like the rest of mankind. What that means I have no idea but work with me, Readers, I’m reaching here. During the bygone days of car door locks it required a separate key for the lock and one of the ignition. Stick a locking gas cap on there and your keychain will make you look like a prison guard.

Give me 18-wheelers....or give me pick-ups

Tags:

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour     al@motorwayamerica.com

I’ve written before about the seemingly-new trend among over-the-road semis to be equipped with wide, single-tire axles as opposed to the legendary 18-wheelers so long-associated with the “Kings of the Roads”…gear-jamming truckers.

Stage coaches provided more assurance than electric vehicles

Tags:

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   al@motorwayamerica.com

Let’s face it, when it comes to cars we’re in the era of alternative energy. Truth-be-told I am a big fan of hybrids and I’m certainly an advocate of clean diesels. Europe would be like a huge Tour de France without diesel power because everyone would be forced to depend primarily on bicycles for transportation.

Broil chicken, not children

Tags:

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   al@motorwayamerica.com

I don’t know about you but when I read about some idiot who has left his or her children inside a car on a 100-degree day, only to return after having a drink, losing money at the casino or just going into a 7-11 to buy a pack of cigarettes and proceeds to do some catching up on gossip with Flossie Joe, and discovers in their absence their children’s brains have turned to the texture of poached eggs while the poor child died a horrible death, I just want to scream!.

My what lovely skirts you’re wearing Mr. Gear Jammer

Tags:

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour           
al@motorwayamerica.com

Is there anything that California hasn’t had a hand in uglifying? I swear that all those in power do is sit around sipping lattes and pull suggestions for saving fuel out of the same outlet a rectal thermometer uses. The latest case in point is trailer wind-deflectors.
 
These wing-like skirting devices are generally found at the bottom of over-the-road 53-foot truck trailers and the premise is that these things save thousands of gallons of fuel per year – not chump change if you have a fleet of tractor-trailers like J.B. Hunt or Schneider Trucking Company.

For a change it's not me screwing with the auto industry

Tags:

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour             al@motorwayamerica.com

Pardon the redundancy but I absolutely abhor bureaucrats who have no more idea than the Man (or Woman) in the Moon what’s good for our country’s economy. I’m not talking about the rank and file government worker who goes to work each day and does what he’s told because mostly these people want to do what’s right — even though Bashar al-Assad has a better chance of becoming a Hebraic scholar then they do of getting fired.
 
The bureaucrats I’m referring to are the political appointees who come in with a new administration and depending on the “boss’s” philosophy, proceed to cause chaos in whatever specific segment of society or industry they’re involved with.

I find you guilty and sentence you to ......

Tags:

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour    al@motorwayamerica.com

Surely by now long-time readers of my columns realize I’m nuts. Nuts in the form of wishing only the harshest punishments for individuals who tend to ruin my day. The other night I suffered a severe case of insomnia brought upon no doubt by watching SpongeBob SquarePants with my twin-grandsons.

If money is no object

Tags:
           
DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour
 
Quickly…name two things that are the main obstacles between you buying a car you’d really like to have and the reality of what you wound up buying; time is up, Cicero. The correct answer is: money! Now let’s carry this one step further; if money were no object, what kind of car would you have. I’ve asked myself this question and in no particular order I’ve listed them below.
 
Three of them are vehicles I always wanted from the Muscle Car Era of my youth. I’ve reported before that I look through Hemming’s every month and allow myself to purchase one pretend vehicle. If an audit was done after a year there’d be a pattern because I tend to reminisce over the same vehicles.