DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour     

I live in a state where drivers show little if any regard for speed limits. Speed limit signs are like figuring tips on restaurant checks…add 15%-20%. Why does this nation have one flag, one national anthem and even a self-proscribed national pastime…but yet we seem to have 50 different plans for speed limits? Whatever happened to consistency?

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour    

I seem to get behind a lot of vehicles that must be towing a loaded 53-foot trailer, because it sure takes them a long time to get up to speed. It must be punishment for childhood shenanigans. I am loath to know what I had done that earns me the personal distinction of trailing the only vehicles on the highway whose torque rating is in the low-single figures?

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   

Throughout history thievery has been commonly associated with transportation. Stage coaches were robbed repeatedly and often; trains were ravaged by roving gangs of bandits (and bad actors); and in a more personal confrontation, the infamous highwaymen would “earn their livings” stealing from travelers making their way through the wilderness.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour       

Have you ever been driving down the road, singing to yourself, “Doot doot do doot doot doot…life been good to me” when all of a sudden…crash…your windshield resembles an earthquake from those old dinosaur movies where the ground splits in two and animals and humans fall into the abyss? Chances are you’re driving in close proximity to a gravel-hauling truck. If your luck is as good as mine it’s a double-trailer gravel hauler.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour 

In case any of you were concerned about my running out of driving-related things to hate…fear not. As long as there are traffic jams and people who insist on ruining my life by constantly making me slow down so they can make turns —– mostly like they’re dragging a 53’ Dorsey Trailer — there will always be moments for me to ponder my disdain for life as I know it.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour        

Yesterday I was rushing home from a meeting because my wife told me she made deviled eggs. Normally I would wonder what she did to make her feel guilty enough to prepare my favorite treat but at this point I didn’t care. However, I was blinded by the sunlight reflecting off the Dodge in front of me and for a few seconds, lost sight of the road. I could have easily crashed and burned…meaning I never would have had my deviled eggs.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour 

Let’s say you’ve packed the family into the old truckster and you’re headed down to a car dealer to buy a new vehicle. What should be a happy adventure generally ends up requiring tranquilizers and/or adult beverages. Granted, most of those occurrences – though far from urban legend – are things of the past…mostly because the economy and the customer has demanded it. But for those of us who are a certain age the memories are loud and clear.