DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour      

It seems that everybody has their Top Ten list of something or another; their Top Ten Favorite Foods, Top Ten Girlfriends/Boyfriends, Top Ten Most Hated Things, etc. Since I’m an auto journalist of questionable repute I’m often asked my for my own Top Ten list of vehicles.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour  

I seem to have a lot of time on my hands as evidenced by the nonsense I so easily write. I may have mentioned that when I sit down at my “piano” I literally have no idea what I’m going to write about. My modus operandi (or M.O. as you followers of Dragnet would know it as) is to lean back in my chair, have an epiphany and clear as a bell my topic seems to drop into my lap from cloud nine.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   

It seems the ancient Greeks had a God for everything — war, the ocean, love, Feta Cheese, etc. If I weren’t so enmeshed in Sgt. Rock and Archie comic books when I was a youngster I might have paid more attention to ancient mythology. I do know that I’ve been putting a heavy burden on God, especially if there’s only one.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour  

I was looking back through some of my multitude of diatribes I’ve written to see if there’s anything I should expand upon and found one on steel wheels – wheels with hub caps for those of you who live in Ohio. I had previously written a sort of nostalgic look at some of the fancy hub caps that preceded the current trend for most cars of sporting alloy wheels.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   

If you can figure out how, pop the hood of your car and behold the wonders found within. Hong Kong at rush hour isn’t as crowded as that space you’re looking at. With all the electronics, safety equipment, fuel injection and everything else you won’t understand there’s barely enough room for a mechanic to get his hands on things.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour     

It seems to me that several years ago I wrote a piece on how vital a new technology called Blind Spot Information System (BLIS) was to safety for the everyday driver. I say it “seems” to be but I keep lousy records so I’m going to have to depend on the senility of my readers to forgive whether I did or not.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour    

When I sit down to write a column I have absolutely NO idea what it’s going to be about. I’ll look around for something that inspires me and use that as a starting point. Today is no different. I just turned off the Military Channel because ironically I can’t write when I have the radio or television on. My attention span is about as long as a gnat’s privates.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   

Many people who drive down the road enjoy the experience and whenever possible glance at their surroundings, trying to take in Mother Nature’s creations. I say “many,” not all. Case in point: ME. When I drive down the road I’m thinking of things to hate so I can write about them later on and entertain…or tick off my readers.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   

Just about the time I think my discovery of new things to complain about is coming to an end something will happen that I know will give my readers hope for my future. The most recent one occurred this past week. I was going to the bank to deposit a meager check and pulled behind someone at the drive-up window who looked like she was retrieving items from the tube that goes “whoosh.” I thought this was great because I was in a hurry and figured I’d get waited on rather quickly.