DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour  

Other than the times I’m in a vehicle stopped on the shoulder of a road with both my hands on the steering wheel pleading my case, I’ve always held great respect for all police department personnel. I recently wrote a rant about people whose windows are so heavily tinted that an approaching policeman (or anyone else for that matter) can’t see inside — causing the police officer to fear for his safety. As I was driving on the freeway this morning I saw another infraction that seems the driver is thumbing his (or her) nose at law enforcement — license plates whose information is partially — or completely obliterated.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikor

How many times have you been driving at night when all of a sudden you’re cursing the guy headed your way who has his bright lights on? You figure you’ll show this illegitimate son of someone who the boss is so you prepare to “fire a shot across his hood” with your own bright lights.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour  

Like millions of others I’m a fan of the Star Wars series. And as an aviation aficionado I was always bedazzled by the X-Wing Fighters. Their maneuverability was impressive and since I’m generally prone to motion sickness I stood in awe of those who could fly an aircraft with such rapid movement without having a windscreen full of peanut butter and jelly capsules. Lately, however, I’ve noticed that training areas for X-Wing Flight School seems to be the interstate highway system.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour  

The disparity among parking space widths never ceases to amaze me. Seldom is there a parking place whose outside lines allow room to comfortably park your vehicle with enough space to open the doors on either side without putting a crease in the cars next to you. Believe me when I tell you that it’s only a matter of time before this damage is reciprocated. And I’m not talking about “compact” spaces versus regular spaces. If the run of the mill idiots can’t figure that one out for themselves we’re in trouble. No I’m just talking about a lot full of regular spaces or what regular spaces should look like.

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   

Being the hopeless romantic I am, I took my wife to the new iHOP the other day at what used to be a truck stop diner. As I left, my appetite sated from a Seniors Sampler, I happened to notice a Freightliner leaving the facility. The sun was setting in the west (or wherever it goes) and the rays were shining on the truck’s chrome bumper. I was awed by the size of the thing. It looked like it could stop a…a truck! Then I noticed the bumpers on the passenger cars parked around the lot. Other than beginning and ending points to measure overall length, what good are they?

DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour 

Have you ever been driving down the road and all of a sudden you seem to be getting a message in Morse code from the tail light lens of the vehicle you’re following?

Personally, I can’t read Morse code so whatever message is being conveyed is lost on me. It could be a cry for help (in which case they’re in trouble) or it could be someone telling me to turn to an oldies station because they’re playing a Jimmy Dorsey record. The only message I’m interpreting from this is the person in front of me is a two-legged head case.