DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour  

I don’t know exactly how many individual parts there are in a vehicle but for the sake of argument let’s say 10,382. At that rate I'll have enough ammunition to write columns until Methuselah and I reach parity.

My rant this time is about vent placement. Vents are wonderful things. Positioned correctly they can keep you cool in the summer…and keep you warm in the winter. Positioned incorrectly, however, and you’re going to either have frostbite on your legs or face the prospect of having your plastic surgery melt.

I’ve asked this question numerous times: Doesn’t anybody sit inside these vehicles and check out their work in real world conditions? Apparently not based on the number of gripes I’ve heard from readers and also things I’ve experienced myself.

The first example is a casualty of cost-cutting – another way of saying vehicles that are designed by accountants. It wasn’t that long ago there was an air vent conveniently placed where the bottom of the steering column meets the bottom of the dashboard. Depending on the size of it and your fan setting it often provided an oasis from outdoor elements. Seems to me the last time I saw one was in an Oldsmobile I owned. Now the vent…and Oldsmobile are gone. There may be cars with a steering wheel vent but I couldn’t be waterboarded into naming one.

Some manufacturers place their venting where the only one who would benefit from it is the person sitting in the middle of the front seat…and with most vehicles having bucket seats it could be very uncomfortable for somebody, if you get my drift.

There are generally vents at either end of the dashboard but they usually aren’t that powerful. Maybe some of the fan force is siphoned off by the center vents. However, I’m not here to make excuses for the venting. Sometimes it’s not possible to aim the venting so it works on the driver or passenger unless either of them leans towards the center. What’s that all about?

Some vehicles have venting at the aft end of the center console that’s supposed to be a benefit for rear-seat passengers. How’s that working for you? Not too well from what I’ve experienced. In most cases it’s possible to feel air coming through them…but only if you have the senses of a viper.

I have been in vehicles that have vents on the B-Pillar (the post between the front and rear doors). This is rather unique and as I recall it worked fairly well.  I don’t want to promote a “one-up” on other manufacturers so I’ll just refer to this vehicle as a…er…Volkswagen Touareg.

I don’t want to taint every manufacturer with this brush because there actually might be vehicles whose venting is properly done – no matter what the size of the occupants or the size of the vehicle. I would like to hear from someone who knows of a vehicle that fits this category.

Also, I don’t have a monopoly on hate and disgust. Make a list of things auto related that piss you off and I’ll try to work them in when I write future columns. Sorry, no attribution. Like a politician I’ll take credit for everything that’s good.

Thanks in advance for your input.