DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour       al@motorwayamerica.com

It was a big day for the Kozlowski Family. Linda and her husband Kenn (his grandparents put an extra “N” in a trust fund for him when he was born). They had saved for four years to buy a brand new Ford Focus. Even though they’d purchased the base model it felt to them like they had the keys to a Rolls Royce.

The car was painted a bright white and as they drove it off the lot they couldn’t have been happier. But then their world collapsed. They decided to take the freeway home and as they turned right to enter the ramp they came upon a departing Department of Highways truck whose patching crew had just left after dumping what had to be a ton of fresh asphalt.

As the Kozlowski’s drove through the freshly-laid mess what sounded like 100 machine guns opened fire inside their four wheel wells. It took almost four miles for the last ping to leave. After levying a barrage of toilet words for seven miles they both finally calmed down and arrived at their home. They proudly parked it on the driveway so the neighbors could see their new purchase.

The kid next door ran over and the first thing he said to them was, “Golly, Mr. Kozlowski…what happened to your car?”

What happened indeed! The car looked like a Dalmatian. To make matters worse, some of the paint was already pitted from the sharp tar stones. They sped back to the dealership to try to get as much of the damage taken care of as they could. Not all of it came off…nor would it ever.

Heartbroken, they went to the county public works department and tried to put in a claim. The agent told them that it was an “Act of God” and the county is not liable. When they asked how it could be considered an “Act of God,” they were told, “Jim Ed Sykes is the County Supervisor…and as far as everyone in this building is concerned…he is God!”

This procedure of tossing out asphalt and depending on cars to tamp it down has always griped my ass. Since when was the public expected to join a road crew to get something done? In the “old days” a steam roller was part of the repair crew and when tar and asphalt were used to fill a hole or split in the highway the roller drove over it a few times to smooth it out and dry it out so it could be used quickly and efficiently without any damage to passenger cars or trucks.

Road repair has apparently gone the way of everything else in this country. Hotels expect you to gather up your towels, hang them up and reuse them during your stay. Airlines want to have as little human contact with its passengers as possible. Banks want your money…but try to avoid having to actually look and talk with its customers. For what seems like decades, highway departments have avoided the costs of purchasing steam rollers.

I’m sure the money for them was in the budget but now with the surplus management can give themselves raises, go to Las Vegas for seminars and do anything else with it other than give it back to the taxpayers who have had to foot the bill for everything…and aren’t getting what they paid for.
Meantime, how many cars have been ruined to the tune of millions of dollars because of some guys tossing shovels full of tar on the road and then moving on to the next stop…which is most likely a break.

I used to consistently take the side of the worker, even when I would hear jokes like, “What is orange and sleeps five? A State Highway Truck.” However, over the years I have become less and less philanthropic towards payrollers. Working for any form of government isn’t a consecration. If anything they should work harder because their jobs are all but guaranteed forever so the least they can do for the poor people whose jobs aren’t is to be considerate of their possessions and do the best jobs they can under any circumstances.

I don’t want to get any e-mails from you highway workers out there who are mad at me because you think I’m picking on you and don’t respect what you do. If you feel this way you’re as wrong as the system you use to repair the roads the public drives on. But those I do want to hear from are your supervisors from the city or county — or even the state — who do such a shoddy job of allegedly supervising the repairing of roads that should at least hold for years but because their employees are only doing half the job there’s no way in Hell it ever could. And if I do hear from you honchos it better not be the old “woe-is-me” bit about budget cuts, blah, blah, blah.

Do the job right the first time and there won’t be the necessity for those people who pay for it, and are in the front lines of vehicle destruction, to cast aspersions on your work ethic. One of these days the vehicles you’re riding in will probably have some really serious damage inflicted on them…and since it probably won’t be an orange truck…the onus (no, that’s not a typo) is on you.

Be the labor great or small, do it right or not at all (oh…wait a minute…too many of you have jumped the gun and already don’t do it at all).