By Al Vinikour
MotorwayAmerica.com

There’s nothing like a divorce from a 20-year marriage to propel one into a mid-life crisis. Except unlike finding an 18-year-old blonde I channeled my new life through a 1984 Dodge 600 Convertible. It was black with a black top and red vinyl interior. It was cool and I thought I was as well.

Dodge brought back the convertible via its legendary K-car line in 1983. It essentially was a coupe that got the ultimate buzz cut and was turned into a convertible at American Sunroof Corporation. In 1984 it was built as a convertible right at the factory and some handsome modifications were made — not the least of which was installation of quarter-panel windows and a solid rear glass. 

Although it had a turbo it wasn’t really all that fast. However, don’t tell that to some wide-eyed kid who would notice the “Turbo” logo on the front fenders and the functional hood scoops. It had a floor shifter and instead of a console it had a high-mounted arm rest that interfered with any intended horseplay a newly-minted bachelor might be contemplating.

It had a rear seat but I don’t recall anyone ever sitting back there. The entire time I had it I never once had the top down and the windows up at the same time. People who do that are crying out for help and nobody is listening.

Sure, I’d put the top up when it rained but that didn’t stop torrents of water from seeping through the roof, strategically landing directly on the power window and door lock buttons on the drivers-side armrest. Snow would do the same thing during the winter months.

Furthermore, the vehicle must have loved road noise because that’s the only thing people inside the vehicle could hear without shouting at one another. (Memo to new members of the Mid-life Crisis Club…if you have to go with a convertible make sure it’s one with a disappearing hard top. It will give you a fighting chance in the decibel department.)

Intellectually I knew that people were thinking the same thing about a 40-year-old, overweight, balding guy driving around in a convertible with the top down. It’s generally the same thing they thought when they saw some old senior citizen driving a Porsche, or on the dance floor at the new “with-it” club; “look at that old fool.”

But I didn’t care…I was free, poor and over 21, and after having been married for 20 years, 6-months, 3-days, 1-hour and 15-minutes to my ex-wife I deserved some kind of reward. Dodge provided it.