DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour    

Last month my wife and I attended an auto manufacturer’s dinner held in conjunction with the North American International Auto Show in Detroit. We were sitting with two other couples at the dinner and one of our table mates was on the sunny-side of 25. I pointed to a journalist colleague of mine and mentioned that his lifelong best friend is the famous actor Dabney Coleman.

This young pup asked, who is Dabney Coleman? He just as well might have asked me who Howdy Doody was. On a similar vein it got me to thinking of all the domestic automobile nameplates between 1944, when I was brought forth to this planet, and 1987, when this kid entered the scene, that, like Elvis, had left the building.

AMERICAN MOTORS: One of the more iconic brands of the post-war (that’s WWII for you young snippets) was American Motors. It basically was a mish-mosh collection of brands of yore, like Nash, Hudson and its most famous “child,” Jeep. First it was sold to Renault of France and eventually the company was sold to Chrysler.

1950 Nash

During its time as Chrysler’s foster child it picked up a new nameplate division, Eagle. In the meantime, Nash and Hudson vaporized and eventually, so did Eagle. Jeep became the surviving badge from the AMC legacy and continues to pick up strength (and models) by the year now as a viable part of Chrysler Group LLC which is 25-percent owned by Fiat.  

CHRYSLER CORPORATION: Chrysler had some long-running brands in the family. When I was younger one of the more common pairings of a new-car dealership was DeSoto-Plymouth. Now they’re both gone. Imperial used to be a separate nameplate in the Chrysler group but eventually that model was incorporated into the Chrysler brand itself. 

FORD MOTOR COMPANY: Ford has had its own share of MIA’s over the decades between 1944 and 1987. The most famous “departure” was that of Edsel. What could have been the right car for perhaps the wrong time, Edsel has long been associated with the biggest flop in automotive history (which must make a truly great guy like Edsel Ford really proud to be associated with that name – his grandfather’s or not). Just recently Ford ceased production of the Mercury brand but that’s a subject for a column a few decades from now. Stay tuned.

GENERAL MOTORS CORPORATION: The General is not immune from purging nameplates from its realm but most of their “David Copperfield” work has been in fairly recent years. The only one that Junior might have forgotten is Oldsmobile, but future generations will be hard-pressed to remember Saturn and Pontiac, and Hummer let alone Olds.

AND THEN THERE WERE: If you think the list already described represents a majority of vehicles that have “gone into real estate” then go to bed and don’t forget to say your prayers. There were lots of little guys who left their mark on this earth before departing to that big junkyard in the sky.

Names like: Henry J, Kaiser, Frazier, Willys (now known as Jeep), Packard, Studebaker, Tucker, DeLorean, Bricklin, Crosley, Amphicar…and probably some major brands I’m at a loss to remember. Furthermore, there were even more famous models within the vehicle lines (like the Ford “Crown Victoria”) that will probably be the subject of a future – and much longer column.

The point I’m trying to make to this young man is this: Oh, sure, I’m probably much closer to the finish line than he is, so he has all the advantages of youth, such as energy, discovery, many years of life and eventually the heartbreak of psoriasis.

1958 Edsel

But for those of the Paleozoic Era like me, we’ve had the experiences of having witnessed automotive history first hand by driving, or driving in vehicles like I’ve described.

Words of wisdom to my peers: next time some “rookie” starts bragging to you about having climbed Mt. Fuji wearing nothing but a pair of Speedos, a South Park T-Shirt and a pair of old Reeboks, say to him (or her), “That’s fine…but have you ever felt the wind blowing through your hair while riding in the back seat of a Packard Caribbean convertible?

Now that’s an adventure!