DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour   

A consequence of our business is the number of hours I spend behind the wheel. It affords me the opportunity to observe the traits of my fellow drivers and to critique the vehicles I and those around me drive. Two findings readily come to mind: the tremendous amount of vehicles that were obviously manufactured without turn signals; and how many vehicles do not contain sunglass holders.

Turn signals have been around since the 1940s, when they first appeared on Chrysler products. (It may have been a Plymouth…my researcher is in Beirut for the next few weeks, where he said he goes to ski). Apparently when Daimler purchased the company in 1998, the turn signal franchise wasn’t part of the deal. Just today, I was following a Dodge Intrepid, when all of a sudden the vehicle slowed down and to my shock…turned! I almost rear-ended it because I wasn’t expecting this, as I saw no turn signal in use.

It used to be that drivers (at least the courteous kind) would indicate an upcoming turn by rolling down their window and making a hand gesture of what direction they intended to go. Then, turn signals entered the picture and were a real novelty. Through the decades, technology evolved to the point where some vehicle’s turn signals would actually turn off if they were inadvertently left on for a half-mile or more.

Now, however, with the apparent shortage of vehicles with turn signals, drivers don’t even have the decency to give the vehicles following a roll-down and an arm wave. The only thing I can deduce from this, and it’s especially true in northern climates, is that global warming has become such an issue that rolling down a window – and let’s face it, folks, exactly how many windows roll down anymore – and allowing the outside heat or cold to enter the vehicle can be a real danger to the occupants.

During the information-gathering phase for my turn signal tirade, I thought maybe it was just the extreme low-end vehicles that came with optional turn signals. I can understand that manufacturers have to cut costs somewhere to make their products affordable to the masses. I mean, aren’t some manufacturers who once touted the life-saving benefits of anti-lock brakes now making them optional on some of their offerings to lower the price?

But to my surprise, there appears to be no financial delineation between what vehicle segments have them and those that don’t. I’ve been behind a Kia Rio that indicated its turn a few counties back, while at the same time, practically climbed over the back of a Bentley Arnage because it made a turn I wasn’t expecting.
 
While sitting in my own private hell waiting for a train to pass, I started thinking of how manufacturers could get every car to come equipped with turn signals, because I’m sure that if they were there, drivers would use them, right? Maybe there could be a special “Anti-Annoyance Package.” This would not only include turn signals, but would also offer anti-staccato brake lights and a noggin-shaped front-seat headrest for the height-impaired, so from the vehicle behind, it looks like someone actually is driving the vehicle.

I guess that making them standard equipment and burying the cost in the MSRP wouldn’t work, because it’s such an obvious recommendation that if were feasible, it would already have been done, and everyone would be using their turn signals. I don’t know exactly what the answer is.

My other major pet peeve regarding vehicle equipment has to do with the interior. I had to ask myself this question: presumably, the sun will rise tomorrow, and short of a cloudy day, at some point tomorrow, the sun will be in my eyes. Quick…what’s the best way to combat the sun from shining in my eyes? Correct! Sunglasses!

Let’s carry this one step further. It’s 6:13 p.m. and it’s dark outside. (Don’t micro-manage this scenario by asking me about daylight savings time.) I realize I don’t need sunglasses anymore today so I remove them. The first place I would look to store them is in a sunglass holder. But wait…some vehicles don’t have a sunglass holder. Could it be a factory defect? Surely, the world’s auto manufacturers wouldn’t design a vehicle without a convenience holder for something that probably 99% of their customers wear almost every time they drive, would they? Or perhaps this is government-mandated so that when the blind drive, they won’t feel discriminated against because a vehicle with a sunglass holder would be a constant reminder that they have no use for a sunglass holder.
 
More than one vehicle designer I’ve spoken with has told me that often times, sunglass holders are earmarked for a vehicle, only to be removed during the bean counters’ de-content phase. (Maybe it’s their continuous use of green eyeshades that cause them to overlook the importance of such a handy accommodation.)

There are other things that get me riled, but as I write this, I’m watching sparks go off from my blood pressure machine, which indicates it’s time to cool it for awhile. Damn and I hadn’t even gotten to discuss how many dealers use the back of their customers’ vehicles as rolling billboards.