By Al Vinikour   al@motorwayamerica.com

One of the most hallowed of traditions in sporty vehicles is dual exhaust. From the very first V8 there were conversions to duals because when coupled to a pair of glass- packed or steel-packed mufflers it emitted a rumbling sound that translated to “bad.” Dual exhaust started to become a factory fixture on V8s in the mid-‘50s. Few things were as cool-looking as a chrome tailpipe extension on either end of the rear bumper. Life was good!

Then some manufacturers started touting their performance vehicles were standard with “dual exhaust.”

Several years ago, Bob Lutz joined General Motors Corporation and became enamored with a vehicle from Australia called the Holden. First and foremost, Lutz is a car guy and views car designs much like a gypsy reads Tarot cards. He could envision beefing up the Holden for the U.S. market, making it a high-performance vehicle and in a final gesture of philanthropy, giving it to Pontiac and marketing it under the legendary badge of the GTO.

They did a decent job modernizing it and even gave it a fancy-schmancy GTO logo. Visually it wasn’t a head-turner but even sitting still it looked ready to run. However, when I did my first walk-around and approached the rear of the vehicle, to my absolute horror I saw something that still awakens me in the middle of the night in a cold, nauseous sweat…it only had a single-side exhaust!!! I don’t care how many pipes are coming out below that rear bumper, if they’re on the same side of the vehicle, its single exhaust! I’m only going to ask you this one more time — what kind of GTO, or any high-performance vehicle for that matter, does not have dual exhaust??!!!


Underside of the 2004 Pontiac GTO — Diatribe says dual exhausts mean
an exhaust on EACH side of the car. In later models, Pontiac corrected
this inexcusable oversight putting exhausts on BOTH sides.

At that moment I instantly empathized with anyone with a drinking problem, because I wanted to join them. However, I felt I owe it to my readers to ask why such a travesty is perpetrated on aficionados of performance vehicles.

A Pontiac engineer told me that dual-side exhaust will show up on later revisions because “there wasn’t enough time to get the job done for the initial model.”

Not enough time?!! They only had about two years or so to figure out some way to hang another pipe. I’m from Indiana, and even I could figure out how to shoot that other pipe out the back in less than two years!

One of the most beloved muscle cars in automotive history is the Pontiac GTO. First appearing in 1964, it was a mid-size, relatively lightweight rocket. It sported a 389 cubic inch V8 that was topped with a four-barrel or tri-power carburetion. Coupled with a four-speed manual transmission and a high-ratio limited-slip differential, about the only thing that could outrun it was a state police car, and only because it had a radio and a determined driver.

Songs were written about it. Rock groups were named after it. If you owned a GTO you were a vehicular God!

The high-performance GTOs enjoyed brisk sales until the 1970s, when a combination of high insurance premiums and lack of factory racing support finally led to its premature demise.

Over the years the lore of this incredible performer lived on. Talk to individuals today who were of driving age during the GTO’s heyday, plus blessed with a driver’s license and a pulse and you’d think Pontiac must have sold tens of millions of them. I call it the “George McGovern Syndrome.” (During the height of the Watergate scandal, anyone you spoke with would refuse to admit they voted for Richard Nixon, stating they’d voted for George McGovern. Had everyone who claimed they voted for McGovern actually voted for him, he would have won all 50 states, Puerto Rico, Guam, Tasmania and Guinea Bissau.)
 
Even Mazda has a wonder vehicle in their Mazda6. They have a nice sporty package that’s available. Not a bad deal for a four-cylinder vehicle. But wait!!!! What do my eyes see? Why…it’s DUAL EXHAUST!  On a four-cylinder, even!

There is no excuse for single-side exhaust on a high-performance (or even sporty) vehicle, no matter who the manufacturer is. If I were feeling charitable (which doesn’t happen often, according to my kids), I’d say that if you have an inline engine of whatever number of cylinders, I’ll give you a pass for one exhaust. But don’t come knocking on my door with any engine with a “V” in its description and have it wiggle its backside at me with only a solitary pipe.

I can’t think of any GTO purist who can be happy with the decision to have the tail pipe(s) coming out on only one side of the rear bumper. I think it does the original GTO a tremendous disservice. I could be wrong, but not likely.

As it turned out…I wasn’t. It wasn’t solely because the first year’s production had single-side exhaust. Other than the name, there didn’t seem to be enough nostalgia to earn its keep. I did think it ironic that in subsequent production prior to pulling the plug found exhaust tips on each side of the bumper. Voila…dual exhaust! However, like former Eastern Air Lines CEO Frank Borman once said, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” A note to all you manufacturers out there…think of old Frank the next time you’re trying to pull the wool over our eyes.