Backup cameras and my ex-wife's attorney — equal credibility

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DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour    al@motorwayamerica.com

Ever since the first person had his body crushed in a car accident safety has been a high priority among the world’s auto manufacturers. Some have even made it a company charter, like Volvo. Through the years hundreds of thousands…if not millions of lives have been saved through safety innovations like three-point seat belts, airbags, crumple zones and various vehicle advancements like anti-lock brakes, all-wheel drive and all-weather tires.


One of my favorite inventions is the sensor. Some vehicles contain a multitude of them. There are those in the rear bumper to detect the presence of something behind a car that can’t be seen in a rear-view mirror, sensors that can detect the start of a rollover and still others that can recognize when the driver is about to nod off.

However, along comes another method of detecting blind spots and this one is touted as the ultimate in vehicle and pedestrian safety – the backup camera. Theoretically this makes sense (pardon the pun). But theory and 99-cents will get you a McDouble off the Dollar Menu. A rear-view camera is great at picking up somebody like Shaquille O’Neill or Yao Ming. But what about poor Marc and Daniel who are at the side of the vehicle out of camera range? Chances are the rear sensors will pick up on their presence because some of them are tilted towards the sides rather than just straight back from the car.

I can bench-press about 300 pounds…because that’s what I weigh so it stands to reason. But I cannot lift a 5,000-pound Escalade, let alone throw it…and that’s how much I trust backup cameras.

Furthermore, why hasn’t the ACLU brought suit against the auto industry for only equipping high-end vehicles with backup cameras – and then they’re generally exclusive to vehicles offering a DVD Navigation System for around $2,000. For instance, what about poor Joe Ed Noble, a farmer whose specialty crop seems to be rocks? He collected pop bottles for 13 years to save up enough money to buy a new Chevy Cobalt. The only option he was able to afford was a set of floor mats for $34…and even then he had to use some of the money he was saving for a party for his 30-year-old grandson’s high school graduation.

Since Farmer Noble doesn’t have a backup camera, let alone rear sensors at all, he was backing up his car one day and ran over the family pit bull named Ramone – who ironically was named after Noble’s oldest son who was playing in the driveway behind the family car unknown to his father, who then proceeded to squash him like a whoopee cushion.

The point is…technology is good…but not as good as the human eye and a working sensor. I don’t care if you can view images through a Nav System, a rearview mirror or your belt buckle. The best technology is the oldest technology, and that was in the immortal words of Davy Crockett, who said, “Be sure you’re right and then go ahead.” Chances are you aren’t going to get this kind of wisdom from a backup camera. Backup cameras can be trustworthy in uses like colonoscopies. But (no pun intended) I don’t think they’re to be trusted on their own.