DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBE
By Al Vinikour     al@motorwayamerica.com

I have written about car lines that have “gone into real estate” and alluded to the fact that someday I’d write another column about particular models that have bitten the dust. Today’s the day, Peoples. What does this have to do with my usual ranting? Everything! I’m not particularly fond of change and constantly burying the names of vehicles manufacturers have created an entire collection of new names.

It’s like going from the grade school you’ve gone to for six years and have spent that long with all the same kids, and then going to Junior High, where maybe five or six schools commingle and there are all these strangers.

Although this list will be far from complete I’ve thought about some of the more memorable models in my own lifetime. If you can think of some famous names I’ve missed, by all means, e-mail us and tell us. As with the previous column I’m limiting this to domestic vehicles.

AMERICAN MOTORS: Ah, who can forget such famous names as the Rebel, which was so fast the Wisconsin Highway Patrol used them as chase cars (I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact they were built in Wisconsin). Then there was the Gremlin, the eternally-beautiful Pacer, Javelin, Nash Rambler (the older version of a cheap motel because the seatbacks folded all the way down), Hudson Hornet, Wasp and Jet.

1970 AMC Rebel, left, and 1957 Mercury Turnpike Cruiser

FORD MOTOR COMPANY: Some really great memories come from the house that Henry built. Ford — among them is one of the most famous models of the semi-modern era — the Crown Victoria. Then there was the Customline, Fairlane, Galaxie, 7-Litre, Hide-away Hardtop, Sunliner, Thunderbird, Ranchero, Starliner, Falcon (still used at Ford Australia), Maverick, Escort and Country Squire; and no you can’t count the Taurus but you can count the Five Hundred; Mercury – Monterey, Turnpike Cruiser, Montclair, Comet Cyclone, Comet Caliente and Cougar; Lincoln – Capri, Continental, Premier and Versailles.
 
GENERAL MOTORS CORPORATION: There were a lot of models that came from the General’s camp – primarily because they had a lot of car lines. Many famous names emanated from this institution, such as: Buick – Riviera, Super, Century, Special, LeSabre, Roadmaster, Invicta, Park Avenue, Gran National/GNX, Wildcat, Electra/Electra 225 and Riata; Chevrolet – Bel Air, 210, El Camino, Nova, Chevy II, Corvair, Chevelle, Chevette and Vega. Oldsmobile – 88, 98, Super 88, Delta 88, Cutlass/Cutlass Supreme, VistaCruiser, 442, Omega, Aurora and Holiday; Pontiac – GTO, Catalina, Bonneville, Firebird, Grand Prix, Star Chief, LeMans, Tempest and 6000; Cadillac – Fleetwood, Fleetwood Sixty Special, De Ville, Seville, Cimarron and Allante.

CHRYSLER: Chrysler had a lot of famous models which also begat equally-famous trim lines, like Chrysler – Imperial, New Yorker, Newport and Windsor; Dodge – Coronet, Super Bee, Daytona, Matador, Dart and Monaco; Plymouth – Road Runner, Savoy, Satellite/Satellite Sebring Plus, Superbird, Fury, Barracuda, GTX and Valiant.

I’m sure there are many models I’m missing and I’ll depend on you, our loyal readers, to fill in the blanks. Meantime, I don’t know if I can take any more losses from “our side.” Auto makers spend millions upon millions of dollars seeking out, and clearing names for their vehicles and at the drop of a hat will eliminate them.

Granted, some hallowed names do make a return — like the legendary Dodge Challenger or the Chevy Camaro. Often times these regurgitated names are so half-assedly considered that they bring dishonor to a once-proud moniker. Case in point…several years ago when it was alive the Pontiac division imported a car from Holden of Australia, stuck in a Corvette powertrain and renamed it a GTO.

Only thing was, as fast as it was there was nothing to distinguish it from a Pontiac G6 except some triangular-shaped GTO badging. It even had the tailpipes coming out of only one side of the bumper…and swore to all that is holy it was a custom-engineered dual-exhaust system. The entire program was a disgrace to the proud history of one of the most famous vehicles in automotive history.

My suggestion to automotive designers and engineers is this: if you have to do retro do it right and don’t take a leak on past achievements.