'Decontenting' cars — Do it right Mr. Bean Counter
DRIVER'S SIDE DIATRIBEBy Al Vinikour
One thing you can always count on when you see a new model car hit the showroom floor; during its engineering and development stage it contained a lot more content. However, when the bean counters/pencil pushers/purchasing departments have their say there are a lot of things that are eliminated – or “decontented” in auto industry-speak.
Case in point: years ago the now-departed Ford Taurus was designed with a sunglass holder above the visors. However, when the accountants realized they could save about 35-cents (or some figure way below a dollar) and multiplied it by the number of units that were to be produced then they instantly c
ame to the conclusion of “the hell with passenger amenities; we can save the company $53,612.34. So because some glasses-wearing weasel has the power and the inclination, hundreds of thousands of car buyers are going to face the possible destruction of their sun glasses because there’s no convenient place that’s designated for their storage. Oh, there was, but Norman Nebish, a graduation of the Kouts (Indiana) School of Economics worked his magic and had it removed.
ame to the conclusion of “the hell with passenger amenities; we can save the company $53,612.34. So because some glasses-wearing weasel has the power and the inclination, hundreds of thousands of car buyers are going to face the possible destruction of their sun glasses because there’s no convenient place that’s designated for their storage. Oh, there was, but Norman Nebish, a graduation of the Kouts (Indiana) School of Economics worked his magic and had it removed.So now you have a good idea of what decontenting is. Well now it’s my turn. As most of you know I drive at least one different vehicle every single week of the year. There are certain things I love about them, certain things I hate and also things that I have no particular use for. I’m going to pretend that I’m a bean-counting amenity-hater and find things that I don’t think should be included in cars that would save my company money and make my triple-thick binocular glasses shine to my management.
The first thing I have absolutely no use for is a settings switch for seat and mirror placement. You’ve seen them before. They’re a row of 2 or 3 boxes with numbers on them. Theoretically you have everything as you like it — the power seat in its place, the outside rearview mirrors set perfectly and if there’re adju
stable headrests they’re set, too. Then you push a Set button and a number. The other number(s) is for other frequent drivers to lock in their own settings so they don’t have to fiddle around adjusting everything when it’s their turn to use the vehicle. As Jay Leno would ask, “How lazy as a nation have we become when we can’t even set our own seating comfort when we’re going to drive a car?” I don’t know what each unit would save the company but I can GuaranDamnTee you it will save more money than eliminating a sunglass holder.
stable headrests they’re set, too. Then you push a Set button and a number. The other number(s) is for other frequent drivers to lock in their own settings so they don’t have to fiddle around adjusting everything when it’s their turn to use the vehicle. As Jay Leno would ask, “How lazy as a nation have we become when we can’t even set our own seating comfort when we’re going to drive a car?” I don’t know what each unit would save the company but I can GuaranDamnTee you it will save more money than eliminating a sunglass holder. How about fog lamps? Just who uses them anymore (or ever)? Nothing shouts “dunderhead” like seeing a car coming towards you with headlights abeam and white, or yellow fog lamps lighting up the night sky. Front ends and bumpers have been designed specifically for this type of lighting, and for what? I’ll give you a few years to give me an answer, Einstein. Think of those savings per car/production run.
There are other less common extras in some vehicles that could easily be eliminated and not hurt the brand at all. Unless you’re a freelance EMT driver you do NOT need a medical kit in your trunk. Want to chase ambulances do you? Save your time because ambulances are fully-equipped with medical devices. Money saved for the manufacturer.
Thinking of using your new Lexus as a roadside mechanic service? Get a life! You do not need a full set of Craftsman tools to complement your luxury vehicle. Again, money saved for the manufacturer.
Finally, and this is strictly a matter of personal taste, who in Wyatt Earp’s name actually needs a sunroof or moonroof or whatever roof you want to call it? If you want to stare at the skies you do not need to do it while you’re driving a two-ton vehicle at high speeds. Generally one has to spend years in college studying astronomy to need a clear vision to the heavens. Eliminating the vandalizing of a perfectly good, solid car frame to punch out rectangles would save a lot of money. I’m sure most will not agree with my initial suggestions for decontenting vehicles but as I’ve often said, my names is on the by-line and if I want to sound like ass that’s what they pay me the big shekels for. It’s not as if I suggested getting rid of car clocks because almost everyone wears a watch and a car clock is just redundant.
A psychiatrist would read this and instantly get my message; stop letting pencil pushers interfere with the good works of designers and engineers. If a sunglass holder adds 13 cents to the cost of each unit, just bury the cost! So instead of a new Fusion costing $20,000.00 it will cost $20,000.13. As the tweeters, who generally have no life would say, #beancounter -BFD. Bookmark/Search this post with:
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